I Thought Looking Healthy Meant Being Healthy

When it came to health, I used to believe that if you looked good physically, then you had to be healthy. In my eyes, physical appearance was the most important part of health. If someone looked lean, strong, and fit, I assumed they were healthy. I viewed health almost entirely through appearance rather than taking the entire body and mind into consideration.

I thought the other areas of health were less important and would naturally work themselves out. I didn’t believe you needed to actively work on your mental, emotional, or spiritual health the same way you worked on your physical health in the gym.

The truth is, working on your physical health is often viewed as “cooler” than focusing on your mental or emotional health. More people openly talk about workouts, diets, and fitness goals than they do anxiety, emotional wellbeing, or spirituality. Those topics can make people uncomfortable. Some people avoid them because they have never worked on those areas themselves, while others feel insecure or judged talking about them.

For a long time, society viewed discussing mental or emotional health as weakness. Those parts of health were dismissed instead of prioritized. The same goes for spiritual health. People rarely talk about it because many don’t know where to begin.

When people decide they want to improve their health, they usually start with their physical health — and honestly, I still think that is a great place to start. Exercise, nutrition, and taking care of your body can create momentum that positively impacts other areas of your life. You have to start somewhere.

But eventually, I realized you cannot ignore the other areas forever.

At some point, it catches up to you.

The endorphins and temporary feel-good effects from exercise can only take your mental and emotional health so far. Looking healthy externally does not automatically mean you feel healthy internally.

That was something I eventually had to learn myself.

The Shift in My Perspective

What completely changed my perspective on health was going through the health coach training program at Institute for Integrative Nutrition (IIN).

During the program, they talked about the idea of multidimensional health — focusing not only on physical health, but also mental, emotional, spiritual, relational, and lifestyle health as well.

I started to realize how much I had neglected every other area of my wellbeing outside of physical fitness.

One concept that really stood out to me was “primary food” versus “secondary food.”

Secondary food is the actual food on your plate — the nutrition and meals you eat every day.

Primary food, however, includes everything else that feeds your life: your relationships, stress levels, career, purpose, joy, emotional wellbeing, and environment.

That idea completely shifted the way I viewed health.

For the first time, I realized that someone could eat healthy foods and look physically fit while still struggling mentally, emotionally, or spiritually. I also realized I was one of those people.

Looking Healthy vs. Feeling Healthy

Once I started focusing on my mental and emotional health, I realized how impactful it truly was.

Going to the gym was not enough on its own.

I realized you have to exercise your mind the same way you exercise your body if you want to experience true mental and emotional health.

One thing I have learned is that working on a new area of your health will probably feel uncomfortable at first — and that is okay.

When you spend years focusing only on one aspect of health, stepping into something unfamiliar like emotional, mental, or spiritual growth can feel awkward, overwhelming, and even frustrating. You may feel tempted to quit because it feels uncomfortable or because you are not seeing immediate results the same way you might with physical health.

But discomfort is often a sign that you are growing.

Just like your muscles need resistance to become stronger, your mind, emotions, and habits also need challenges in order to grow and evolve. The uncomfortable feeling usually means you are stepping outside of old patterns and becoming more aware of yourself in ways you never were before.

Growth rarely feels comfortable in the beginning, but that does not mean it is not working.

Stay patient with yourself. The areas of health that feel the hardest to work on are often the ones that need your attention the most.

When I finally started working on those areas, I noticed how much I had been lacking. Before, I experienced much more emotional instability and anxiety than I was willing to admit. I looked healthy externally, but internally I did not feel fully healthy at all.

For years, I was chasing the appearance side of health.

Sometimes it didn’t even matter what I was eating as long as I maintained the physique I wanted.

Social media also plays a huge role in this mindset. Society prioritizes appearance-based health to such an unhealthy level that it damages people’s mental and emotional wellbeing. Social media constantly convinces people that looking a certain way means you are healthier, happier, or more successful than everyone else.

People compare themselves to carefully curated versions of others and end up feeling inadequate because of it.

I am not saying physical health is unimportant — it absolutely matters. But social media has distorted what health truly means. Health is far more than appearance.

My Experience with Spiritual Health

Spiritual health was probably the most confusing area of health for me.

For a long time, I didn’t really know what spirituality meant or what I was supposed to do with it, so I ignored it completely. It felt overwhelming and confusing. I assumed spirituality meant choosing a religion and following a specific path the same way other people did.

But eventually I realized that could not have been further from the truth.

The IIN program helped open my mind to the idea that spirituality could be personal. They described spirituality as finding connection — connection to the world around you, your purpose, other people, and something greater than yourself.

That changed everything for me.

I realized I did not need to force myself into someone else’s version of spirituality. I could make it my own experience, just like I do with physical health.

As I found my greater purpose through health coaching, I started feeling more connected to other people and more connected to the world around me. Helping others improve their health gave me a sense of fulfillment and purpose that I had never really experienced before.

To me, spirituality no longer meant following a specific religion. It became about connection, purpose, growth, helping others, and being part of something bigger than yourself.

Meeting my girlfriend also reinforced this perspective for me. Watching her make spirituality her own personal experience helped me realize there truly is no single “right” way to approach it. She felt grounded and content in the way she practiced spirituality and never felt the need to force her beliefs or practices onto anyone else.

That stuck with me.

Your spiritual health should be your own experience — just like every other area of health.

What Health Means to Me Now

Health is not just physical.

It is mental, emotional, spiritual, relational, and physical.

It is your stress levels, your relationships, your purpose, your career, your joy, your mindset, your fulfillment, and the way you feel about yourself and your life.

If you only focus on one area while ignoring the rest, there will always be parts of your life that feel incomplete, even if you do not immediately realize it.

I didn’t realize it for a long time.

I thought I was doing great because I had muscle definition and looked healthy on the outside. I assumed that meant everything else was fine too.

But once I started intentionally working on the other areas of my health, I realized there had been a gap all along — I just couldn’t see it before.

When you begin improving all aspects of your health, you start to feel more whole, balanced, fulfilled, and connected.

The most important thing I have learned is that there is no perfect formula for health.

People will always try to tell you the “right” way to eat, exercise, think, or live because something worked well for them. But health is deeply personal. What works for one person may not work for another.

The goal is not to copy someone else’s version of health.

The goal is to create your own.

Do what makes you feel healthy physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. Find routines, habits, and practices that motivate you to continue showing up for yourself consistently.

Start small. Stay consistent. Grow over time.

That is where real health begins.